Posts from — March 2010
Hello Don Luis,
One of the biggest obstacles I feel I need to face is in letting go control and learning to listen and follow my heart. I had great mirrors for this through my parents who I became submissive to and later rebellious to all other authority outside. I am aware of the anger and sadness this has brought up as I have reacted and operated from this in me and suppressed my heart through fear and attempted to control life via the mind, which I know is futile.
I’m well aware that this affects all aspects in my life, most importantly, my self expression through my professional work. A fear of losing control and belief in scarcity has effected my decisions. I have learned to suppress the messages of my heart and therefore have listened to the rational of my mind as my guide. I have banged my head on the wall of life striving to find positive expression through my income earning position but have not found it, why, because the under lying motivator has always been Financial and not expression. I have been unable to allow my heart guide me, unable to let go of mind control.
The best I can; and I continue to find forgiveness for my parents and for myself in believing and taking on this programming. I am trying to learn to really trust in that feminine aspect in me. How best can this be done? How do I overcome the fear of letting go control so as to allow Spirit express and unfold through me and my life situation? I would like to hear the messages of other men who are similarly becoming aware of this limited pattern and of those who have faced this and are now listening and following their hearts which ultimately allows Love and happiness to naturally flow.
With Love and respect, jd
March 22, 2010 No Comments
I’m aware that the term “High Maintenance” when referring to a person has different connotation to many. It seems, that humans measure things from a low or high perspective, most likely from our common reference to material objects, such as money and wealth. We may also find your self, rating your date and or partner, as a high maintenance person. That to you may look like being to meticulous, choosy, and or fussy.
I ask you men, how meticulous is your partner, and how much pickiness can you tolerate?
I’ve heard from men, young and older say, that “picky” woman scares them. Men think, she’s picky; she will most likely be hard to please. Her range of what is acceptable is very narrow and limited, most likely coming from something from her past. She likes certain foods cooked a certain way. Her drink has to have just the right amount of ice, and be in the right type of glass. The salad dressing has to be on the side, she check’s her silverware for spots or fingerprints, and if she finds anything that may look irregular to her demanding eye, she will clean each utensil with her napkin, with out hesitation, as she gives her order to the waiter.
All physical outdoor activities with you are limited because it may require too much of a physical work out, or it scares her, or she’s not use to the elements, or she may not like to sweat, and any kind of physical discomfort is not acceptable to her. She’s glad to have her partner, that’s you, make things more comfortable for her by having you ask the waiter for another wine glass because her wine glass has a smudge and or not suggest any out door activities.
Now we can understand all of us having a right of wanting things like we want them, and at the same time, trying to please a picky woman could be a full time job. Do you men know what I’m talking about? All of this would scare any man into thinking twice about having a relation with a woman that needs to have things her way.
A picky, woman would never say what we men love to hear, “I’m good thanks.” You know when your hiking together and its starts to sprinkle and you offer her your coat because you forgot the rain gear, and she say’s, “I’m good thanks,” and then smiles at you as she looks right at you, tugging her baseball hat. Now that makes a man feel that she’s right there with you through it all. This makes most men happy. It touches the act of adventure that most men love, you know, going against the elements, roughing it, and making it through. When we hear, “I’m good,” or something similar to that meaning, we feel joined by our partner, irrelevant if we stay for the downpour or not.
We know that fear; any kind of fear leads a large percentage of human lives. It influences what we eat, where we live, the work we do, and the car’s we drive. These selective choices are made based on a mixture of fears from past limited outcomes. Well men, dating and being in relationship is no different. If you know what you fear and where that fear comes from in you, and are taking steps to own, and express it, as well as heal it as best you can, then your one step ahead of the dating and relationship endeavor.
We know that we are responsible for everything we create for our selves, so if we find our selves in a relationship with a picky, high maintenance woman, we also have to look at our part for choosing that for us, as well as what in you has attracted this person to your life.
Are you carrying the same kind of energy? Are you a high maintenance man? Was your mother picky, your father, or both? That maybe you have attracted that kind of person, due to your own domestication as a human living in fear?
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March 2, 2010 No Comments