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Posts from — January 2010

“Together Time,” in Relationship

I have found that the concept of “Together time” has a different connotation to humans when in a committed relationship. I know people that require a lot of time together, especially when starting a new relationship that may convey long into their relationship, you know, lot’s of calls, text messages, emails, walks, and evenings spent doing special “projects” together. At the same time, others in relationship may only want a two or three planned activity a week.

I’ve noted that together time varies wildly independent of gender. Many men that I know, have a fear of being confined to the relationship, maybe comparable to the woman’s fear of being abandoned in a relationship? You tell me, women reading this blog if this comparison is fair. Any way, I’ve noticed that some men in relationship are at times concerned about an ever increasing schedule of together time activities that seems to get in the way of the things they enjoying doing as individuals and in relation with beloved.

Many men have seen how male friends, lose their choice in doing activities with close male friends, once they enter a serious relationship. These men may enjoy playing golf, basketball, running/jogging, and or just playing cards one night a week with his male friends. Men that end up selling their fishing boat and or motorcycle once they get into a serious relationship. You know, those friends that are always ready to join you and friends for lunch, and maybe a drink after work, that are never free anymore. We think, why weren’t they strong enough to stand up for the things that are important to them, and at the same time, have a great relationship? Many men see this type of relational dynamic, and think, “Danger! Women take up most of your free time.”

What has been your experience about your loss of choice with friends in relationship, and or have you seen this happen to your relationship, or with friends?

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January 28, 2010   No Comments

Woman not getting “joy” during sexual intercourse.

I’ve been following your blog since you first started and even though I know that you have not covered sexual issues between men and women, I hope you will answer a question I’d like to ask you, and men reading this blog. I’ve been dating an intelligent, smart, beautiful and some what controlling woman for over a year, we have what I perceived a normal sexual life, being intimate two to three times a week, depending on our work schedule, we’re in our early mid, forties, and yet she’s only reached her orgasm a few times with me, through self-stimulation. I’ve tried everything from talking about it, suggesting a vibrator, doing plenty of foreplay, from doing massage’s, to trying to stimulate her from her big toe to the top of her head, with out joy, as in reaching her orgasm, while having sexual intercourse and or me trying to stimulate her. All my relationships in the past have been pleased with the attention I’ve been able to give her, especially helping them reach their orgasm before me, and or reaching this place together. My patience is wearing out, all along, I’ve been feeling bad, and sad, some times resentful as if she was holding something back from me, and at times, it brings feelings of being impotent and helpless in not being able to help her. Any suggestions? Marc

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January 4, 2010   No Comments