Posts from — October 2009

Has the emotion of “anger” gotten in the way of old and new relationships in your life? Has it affected your life in creating a less meaningful existence for your self and others?

Here’s what a great philosopher said about anger:

“Anyone can become angry – that is easy.

But to be angry with the right person, to

the right degree, at the right time, for the

right purpose, and in the right way, this

is not easy.” Aristotle

Anger has been an extraordinary emotional process since starting this self-development work, decades ago. The process of “being angry,” and or holding anger with-in, has assisted many men, including my self, in seeing, accepting, and most importantly, helping one take responsibility for actions that came from unhealed wounds. One can do this by first starting to perceive anger in a very different way than in the past.

As the awareness of “self-sustainability,” on an emotional level, becomes more apparent to each individual, and eventually for the development of the community, and humanity in general, one can start to discover how to use the energy of anger, to recognize other feelings that would in turn help you develop a deeper awareness of your own emotional state. I found that when I control my limited emotions and kept them with-in, this emotion of anger, and its limited energy, asked more of the same from the universe, and when I expressed the pure limitation of anger, it frightened people and eroded trust in relationships.

I know now, that anger existed for a reason, and not something to be put aside but to let your self-listen to that in you, with out projecting it to others and or making your self-wrong. With this new awareness, and in time, it will most likely take you to your limited emotions, giving you an opportunity to manage them properly through the recognition and owning of each one. I like to see anger, as a positive thing, like an emergency warning light in your mind that senses something is not right in you, and in that particular moment. Remembering, that there is nothing out side of you, but your perception of what you see and or hear, that is been guided and directed by your own unhealed wounds.

This awareness can be a catalyst for change and even a good self-motivator in getting any job done. Handled poorly though, anger, can affect relationship, and eventually health problems. For those who didn’t have positive role models for anger management while growing up, dealing with self-anger can be confusing and at times very difficult. One could benefit greatly by knowing how to deal with this powerful and potentially destructive emotion.

With time and consistency, along with this teaching of healing wounds that bring about anger, one can start changing one’s perception of your self and this human dream by first learning how to express your anger with kindness, compassion, and heart, and use it for a good purpose such as strengthening your relationships with your self and others.

Anger used for a positive action can be a good thing to manage for everyone concerned. From the pep talk the coach would give to the loosing football team at half time, to the briefings we would receive as pilots flying combat missions over seas, we learned that expressing anger in appropriate ways communicate one’s strong feeling’s about the importance and magnitude of the mission or situation. Expressing anger too much or expressing it at the wrong time desensitizes others to what you may be feeling, making it hard for others to understand you, as well as taking you genuinely.

Using a strong emotion like anger to benefit your relationships will take time to master. There is a lot of preparation for this particular strategy and it all starts by first by being aware of your own anger to mange it accurately.

Learning to create a deeper emotional awareness to those places in you that spew out and to what degree, from a little frustration to what sends you reeling and out of control, is imperative. In putting this into effect, one can start by writing these moments of anger in one’s own journal and or personal list, from the little aggravation to what set’s you out of control, to help you start to own each one. We know that denial can some times sustain our victim stance, and therefore, one needs pure honesty in evaluating each emotion and consequence.

You can also start collecting examples of “what” they are and “how” it feels in you, when you are stuck in this limited energy. As you write these feelings, actions, and events of anger, it will also help you create a deeper awareness of that anger that exists in you. As one learns how to express one’s anger, one can benefit one’s self from speaking from the witness in you and not from the victim that say’s, poor me, they are doing this to me.

Establish when you should exhibit your anger based on the principle that if it’s shared, it, will actually improve your relationship with that one person and or grouping. As you look at your choices, be very aware of others involved, understand their denial and or vulnerability as well as to their responses to what you are attempting to express.

We have to always remember that relationship management is about making right choices and acting with the purpose of creating honest, and deep association with your self and others in relationship. In doing this, you need to first be honest with self, and then with others, which can mean that some times you use anger with an unlimited purpose.

One may have to learn that when one is not able to express with “kindness,” “compassion,” and “love,” you would be better off not saying anything at all. That’s when you either see a professional, and or work with a therapist that gives you the opportunity to learn how to speak from this place of compassion, and kindness in you. The more opportunity you have to express from this place, your true anger, the more you will decrease the pressure built up in you.

Humans are all in process as long as we are in body, the more awareness you have about your own emotional intelligence, the better, and happier you will live your life with your self, your beloved, family, and community. As long as you are connecting, owning and expressing your anger in an appropriate way to your self and others, you will be releasing limited energy that create explosive encounters with your self and others. This will also help you set good role model for your community.

Anger is something that we need to learn how to connect with in us to expose, and express from heart, for our selves, and others from a place of the unlimited source that exists in each one of us. We must remember that anger is an emotion, and that an emotion is pure energy, and we know that energy can be transformed from one state to another.

So, I ask you men, how is your anger factor? Are you ready to live life from a happier and more fulfilling place, by managing your emotions that create an explosive and unpredictable behavior that comes from wounds that create anger in you?